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Hello, everyone! How are you? I hope you're all doing just fine. Hope everybody's got their holiday shopping done. If you haven't and you're still looking for something for that special somebody who 1. likes zombies, 2. likes to read and/or 3. has a Kindle click on the link above. It takes you to my Author's Page on Amazon.com where you can purchase my eBooks. I promise that's going to be about it for the shameless self promotion portion of this entry. Oh! And thank you oh so much D. McKillip for taking the time to write a review on Outbreak: Boston's Amazon page.
So anyways on to business, yeah?
The perfect description for the zombies in my books just occurred to me just yesterday. Drunken carnivorous goldfish. Think about it a minute. No seriously stop laughing a minute and think about it. They're terribly uncoordinated what with all the tripping over stuff and stumbling about. The carnivorous bit is fairly self explanatory as they tear people to tiny little bits and eat them. Now here's where the goldfish bit comes into play.
The zombies aren't terribly bright due to the whole rotting and being dead thing. They'll eat until they run out of food even though they aren't hungry. I'm not entirely certain if they'd actually eat until they pop...which would be rather disgusting as it would literally involve their withered internals bursting. When confronted with new food (another person) they drop whatever they're eating and attack immediately (a wholly unnatural action, by the way. No predator actually does that. Creepy!).
They aren't bright enough to say make the connection between the loud popping noises of gunfire and the zombie next to them falling over with its head broke open but they can somehow understand that they can't catch a speeding car so they'll stop chasing it. Strange, that.
Oh! And say here's a little thing I've been working on once in awhile when I get the time: Character portraits! If you like come on over to Outbreak: Boston's Facebook Page and read the accompanying biographies I put up there. Also, if you like the page I'll keep you abreast of any funny zombie themed pictures and zombie related news stories I stumble across (if you'll pardon the pun) as well as updates on the upcoming third book.
Now feast your eyes upon my amateur Photoshop skills!
Lastly, as you might have heard, the 50th anniversary episode of Doctor Who aired recently setting a world record for the most viewers of a simulcast world wide. I happened to catch it in the local movie theater which was AWESOME because there were 3D Daleks. Don't worry that's all I'm going to say about the episode in case you haven't seen it.
Anyways, it also made me think of something that showed up in my Facebook feed awhile ago. Say The Doctor turns up on your doorstep and says to you that he'd let you change one thing in history. And after a moment's thought I came up with two ideas.
My first thought was to get rid of Hitler, though not in the way you're probably thinking. In fact I would think that The Doctor would actually approve of my plan as (and here's the clever bit) nobody dies. First thing's first: go back to say late 2012 or earlier this year and leave myself a note to get in on the ground floor of this whole Bitcoin thing. Then, when The Doctor turns up, we go buy a whole bunch of silver bars with the proceeds of my smart investment. After that we jump in the TARDIS and go to Austria 1907 and pay a little visit to the people that make decisions as to who gets into The Academy of Fine Arts and (with luck) after the proverbial thirty pieces of silver change hands young Adolph would be painting his little paintings instead of hanging around a slum a few years later thinking about how much he hated Jews so much.
Then again I thought I'd try and do that one better. Here's how: basically I'd prevent World War One, which led to World War Two, The Cold War, Hippies, Vietnam and all that other horrible stuff that happened in the 20th century.
This is *really* clever. Check this out, guys. Okay. For those of you who might have had a bit since your last History class here's what happened. A group calling itself The Black Hand (not as cool as they sound, by the way. They were like five idiot college students in Sarajevo) lobbed a hand grenade at Archduke Ferdinand's motorcade. The assassination attempt failed miserably because, being idiot college students, none of them knew how to 'cook off' a grenade and blew up the car behind the Archduke.
Archduke Ferdinand then ordered his driver to take him to the hospital to visit the people wounded in the attack despite everyone in his security detail telling him it was obviously a really shit idea and they should just get the hell away from the city as someone had tried to kill him already once that day. Long story short one of the guys from The Black Hand happened to be eating a sandwich at a sidewalk cafe when the Archduke's car pulled up at the stoplight at the corner. Probably after doing a double take and pinching himself the walked up to the car, pulled a gun from his pocket and shot the Archduke thus setting the stage for millions and millions of horrifically violent deaths across eighty some odd years or so.
So here's what I'd do: I'd have The Doctor take me to that exact street corner about say ten or fifteen minutes before the successful assassination. Then I'd chat up the assassin pretending to be some guy he knows from school or whatever until the Archduke's car went through the stoplight. Or hell push come shove I'd just tackle the guy when he goes to make his move if that didn't work. And again, if everything goes according to plan, nobody dies so I'd think The Doctor would be on board.
So that's all I've got for right now. Please, if you enjoyed this, like my books' Facebook page, subscribe to this blog and take a look at my eBooks through the links at the top of this page. Thanks for reading!
